Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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