I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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