Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
