There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
