I wish I could teleport
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
