whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
