just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
