well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
