dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
