Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
