Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
