he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
