I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
