God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
