She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Say something about gay babies.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
