did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Porn is love you can see.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
