There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
