worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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