you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
