LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
