"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
