At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
