i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize