I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize