The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
