i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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