why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
