Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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