wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
