You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
