Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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