I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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