He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
