Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
