is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
