I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
