DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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