Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The air was thick with penises
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
