I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
