Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
