"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
