I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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