I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
