Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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