And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
