We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
