THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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