if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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