Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my poor anus
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
