First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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