I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
