The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
