I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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