highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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