i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
