So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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